When in doubt about what to do next--give it to the mothers. We know what to do.
We, the mothers, are the trusted ones, those who are implicitly reliable in the eyes of our children. We are the ones who bring the forgotten lunches, clean up the barf, and wipe the tears. Most importantly, we imprint our belief systems on our children. Do we practice what we preach? Do we model behavior that demonstrates good will and kindness to all people, or only to some?
In a mother-to-mother conversation, I want to reinterpret the words of others who initially discussed a wall.
How can we call ourselves unconditionally loving mothers if we teach our kids that only certain people deserve love and compassion? And this love is based on a subjective interpretation of value that we have placed on the human soul? I invite you to press PLAY on Pink Floyd, THE WALL, Mother.
Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Our children seek comfort from us, and they want our approval. One way to get parental approval is to parrot back our words. Should we teach our children that feeling anything but the way we tell them to feel is not allowed? Should we encourage them to lash out at people who are different or shroud their minds in horror if they have personal identity questions? Should we teach our children that it’s acceptable to hate others based on race or religion? What stops our kids from being bullied or hurt in the same ways if we normalize this behavior?
Ooh, aah, mother, should I build the wall?
Brainwashing a false superiority into a child’s mind is cruel and unkind. Everyone has a heart, everyone has a soul, and everyone deserves compassion. Our kids trust us to tell them what is right.
Mother, should I run for president?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mother, will they put me in the firing line?
Ooh, aah, is it just a waste of time?
We could believe our melting pot nation is like a mother’s homemade soup. If we strain out the ingredients, we lose the flavor of this national broth, a country founded on equality, diversity, and freedom.
Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry
Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you
Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won't let you fly but she might let you sing
Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm
We are their first teachers, and what are we teaching? We teach please and thank you. How about teaching caring for others? What about not being afraid of people who are different from us? Our children cry for us with night terrors. What if these scary prejudicial ideals are what brought on the fear?
Ooh, babe, ooh, babe, ooh, babe
Of course Mama's gonna help build the wall
Mothers, if we build a wall, are we keeping people out or are we keeping people in? And is there really a difference?
Mother, do you think she's good enough?
Mother, do you think she's dangerous?
Mother, will she tear your little boy apart?
Ooh, aah, mother, will she break my heart?
Mothers, we teach love and compassion. When children play house, do the nice mommies show the colors of fabric people the other dollies cannot play with? They imitate what they see. Should our leaders be allowed to grab our daughters by the pussy? We don’t think so.
hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry
This dangerous government will swaddle your minds in a cozy chokehold of censorship and fear, if allowed. Silence, opting out, and doing nothing about this travesty in progress are all active decisions that celebrate acceptance and compliance. Not off the hook, Mama.
Mama's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you
Mama won't let anyone dirty get through
Mama's gonna wait up till you get in
Mama will always find out where you've been
Mamma's gonna keep baby healthy and clean
Do we want to steep our babies in hate before they understand the implications of bigotry, misogyny, xenophobia, racism, and sexism? Is it correct to pollute and narrow our babies’ minds without their permission?
Ooh, babe, ooh, babe, ooh, babe
You'll always be a baby to me
Fear vibrates at a low energy, and we mothers are capable of so much more. We want kindness, inclusion, courtesy, and understanding as things we demonstrate to our children. We want our kids to learn and emulate this behavior. But if we elect hate to our government and practice hate with our children, hate will live. In this new openly-prejudiced population, throwing the disabled kid in the dumpster, yelling curses at a woman in a headscarf, questioning the citizenship of the man who sands next to you, or punching the face of another human who happens to have skin different from yours will be the norm. And then what, Mom?
Mother, did it need to be so high?
Mothers, rise up
Mothers, stand together
Meet me in the streets
January 20, 2018
Kristin Kucia is an author and educator in southern CA. She believes in the art and responsibility of taking care of others & that mothers will ultimately heal the world.